This weekend I had the scare of my life...my cousin who is 14 months and who I have been staying around that last 3 weeks had 2 seizures on Friday. On Thursday he was a little sick and had a fever at daycare and I watched him and he was just playing and having fun. Friday morning I woke up and went to work around 7...while I was there I had taken a nap in the kids room until about 8. At 8:01 while I am in with a patient the stupid receptionist, that I've wrote about a lot came in and told me that I needed to stop what I was doing because the office was being closes...and literally this was a minute after I woken up and still wasn't really up yet...she tells me Cooper had a siezure and she walks away from me...I am sitting there like what the heck ...what do you mean Cooper had a seizure what and as she is walking away she is telling me we need to close the office and reschedule everyone and I am just like seriously you think I am going to sit here in this office and just reschedule people and not go find out whats going on with my little cousin...anyways I go running out of the office and down the steps to see if my uncle's car is there and if my aunts is and just trying to figure out where everyone was. I call my uncle and he tells me he is in the ER with Cooper and Wendy and that I need to go get Audrey from OB...so I go running down the hall and to my aunts office to find out I was in the wrong office...the lady that works there get confused and walks me down to the OB floor and I get Audrey and get walked down to the ER to get the keys and to see my baby cousin with IV in his arms, oxygen, and monitors hooked up to him and just pale and laying in my uncles arms...one of the worse things I have ever seen in my life...I look over and my aunt is in tears which is worse to see my aunt in tears and my uncles face maybe since I know they are both doctors and they are both freaking out....but I go on and take my cousin Audrey home and all she can say is I want to see mommy mommy needs me...I sit here and just wait to see what is going on with my cousin and nothing is being told me...I sit and talk to my sister on the phone for a while and trying to keep my cousin entertained and trying to keep my nerves down. Then my uncle calls and tells me they are coming home in about 30 minutes he's fine and I feel so much better I begin calling my family and tell them things are fine they are on their way home. They get home and Cooper is there and playing and just eating and having fun...everything seems just perfectly fine. So they eat lunch and my uncle and I go to Elizabethtown to do some grocery shopping and Elizabethtown is about 30 minutes away from Leitchfield and we were probably in Elizabethtown for 15 minutes when the phone rings and its my aunt and she says he did it again and my uncle says what do you mean he did it again and she said he did it again we are on teh way to the ER...we flew back from Elizabethtown and its might have been the scariest drive to me...my uncle stayed calm and then all of the sudden started flying and cutting in and out of traffic and it really scared me because I thought maybe the thought of something that could be wrong with him besides just what they originally thought it was...we get to the hospital and we both go running in and I see my aunt on the bed with Cooper in her arms...Cooper all hooked up again and just pale again and just laying with his head down just looking extremely pitaful and my aunt just sitting there crying and my uncle just kissing him and just sitting there. I remember I staring in the room and actually having tears coming to my eyes...but I felt like I had to toughen up and go get my other cousin Audrey and take her home. So we go on home and all I could do is think about Cooper and not knowing what is going on...I called my family again and just told them that it happened again and had to go through it all with them again in the morning....talking about a roller coaster ride. It just sucked feeling like I couldn't do anything at all and just having to sit at the house and just wait it all out...but it was good to have been here then to be away not knowing what was going on. I sat here and just cried after Audrey took a nap and then my aunt and uncle came in and told me that things were fine test were negative and that they are going to monitor him but it wasn't anything serious. This morning I woke up, if you count the time I slept as anything and just sat in the living room just waiting for the phone call and the phone rang and my heart dropped and when I picked up my aunt was telling me that they were heading home now and they had released Cooper...which was the best news I have ever heard. But it still scared me since last time he came home 45 minutes later or so he had another seizure. But I am glad that he is okay. Can't believe that this happened...I think about how scared I was but can you imagine my aunt and uncle...people that knew what was going on but didn't have access or able to see that Cooper is okay...or Audrey who actually was the one that first caught Cooper in his seizure and yelled mommy Cooper is shaking and getting her mom to get help for Cooper and the one that was in the car looking to see if he was still breathing? I certaintly can't imagine it.
I do honestly feel bad and that maybe this was my fault....I mean I know it wasn't and that it probably would have happened, but I have been the one responsible for Cooper so I wonder did I take good enough care of Cooper? I also wondering since they said his seizure is due to him being sick the day before and with a fever if I was the one that gave it to him. I have been sick with the throw ups and stomach issues and running high fevers, but still have been around him...could I have been the one that gave him the illness? Could I have been the one that gave him the fever...because I did have a fever Thursday night...I don't know I feel like I am a little responsible for it...stupid immune system...I just don't know I feel guilty...but am glad that he is alive and being himself because I could have never forgiven myself.
But I guess you never know why things happen and you never know when things happen...this certaintly was something I NEVER expected. But its making me realize things.
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