November

It's already started off very interesting.

So by the previous post you can probably tell I am a little down and struggling some. I am just feeling really out of it and unsure I am really where I want to be. I really haven't been liking going to work and just not filling fulfilled. Which also means I am probably being distant and holding things in. I know I struggle with this, but I think that most of the time it's not a big deal and its more important to me that others are happy than myself.

But because I tend to shut down I also tend to hurt people. I spent the evening chatting with a friend and trying to get back to a more "stable" place. I know it was good for us to talk and I am glad we got back on a better place, but I still feel a little drained and struggling. I don't know why I am so unhappy, but I guess I need to start figuring it out because its pretty draining and annoying. I am not even sure I am making any sense right now I think the 3 hours of chatting may have done me in with expressing my feelings for a little bit.