Distant

Why am I always so distant? Why am I always so easy influenced? Today I was pretty quiet and in my own world and really short with people. I really don't mean to but I know I do it. At the same time is it not okay for me to want some down time? I enjoy hanging out with people and chatting but I also really like my alone time. Also sometimes when I shut down I really enjoy the push to not shut down too. Is that weird?

I felt like I really hurt someone today, without meaning too. I also didn't really know what to say or how to act. I know that things will get better, but I don't think it should be like this and that I really need to learn from my past instead of taking it with me in my future. Ugh I drive myself crazy sometimes.