Well crap...

Today wasn't a good day at all... I've been ridiculously stressed about finding a job and pretty much feeling completely useless at work and perhaps in my life, something is just missing. It's been hard and some days it doesn't bother me, some I'm okay with it, and some I'm miserable like today. I actually have had a good week but something about today just got me in a funk. Already being in a bad mood I was kind of put in a worse mood when some people at work decided their meeting was more important than mine and ran theirs an extra hour into when mine was which means I had to reschedule. And maybe theirs was more important than mine but still rude since I just sat and waiting on them to finish so I could meet. So finally after waiting close to a hour I was told to reschedule the meeting so I did but being fed up with the place I decided I need to get away for lunch but unfortunately I had brought lunch that day thinking my lunch bud did too, but actually they didn't. So it gave me more reason to go somewhere than stay in, but not really what I wanted...don't get me wrong it is good just not what I wanted, specially after some back and forth banter that ended up on disagreement...and putting me perhaps in a worse mood. Which then going into a meeting that was rescheduled and being in a bad mood I showed an ugly side of myself...which seems to happen a lot lately, but o well. We all have bad days right? Lets just hope my bad day and attitude doesn't screw me. But I did leave early and have been laying on the couch just relaxing and being lazy, which is probably what I kind of needed. Unfortunately though I really wanted to talk to someone today and it seemed like everyone was just a little too busy to be there for me...I know I shouldn't expect people to drop what they are doing to talk to me or be there for me, but I wish I had someone that would do that for me. I think I do it a lot for people and it really sucks nobody really does for me...but everyone is different and I know I need to understand that. I think I am just a complete mess right now and it sucks, but I did have some good text conversation and I am sure if this person was in town they would have definitely been there. I also feel like its my fault that people aren't like that with me too since its really hard for me to express myself and at times when they do come through for me I am shut down. O well I guess tomorrow is another day and currently this couch is really comfy and a good place for me to just be specially watching UK players have their dreams come true!! Now come on Harrellson so I can head to bed!!