I am feeling very frustrated today. So many things are going through my head right now and I just can't process any of it. It makes me really sad that I have such crappy relationships with my family. It actually really hurts me and makes me wonder why and if something is wrong with me. Lately all I do is fight with my family and it doesn't seem like it will ever get better. I don't think I will ever be able yo understand why my relationship with them is the way it is. I just keep a smile on and act as if it doesn't bother me but in reality it hurts a lot. Why was I excluded today on my moms birthday gift? Why didn't I get to go when I helped pay for it? Why didn't my mom want to go with me last week when I offered but had no problem going with my sister? Why do I have this anger towards my parents and always fighting with them? Can I continue to smile and be okay with things? Am I not a good daughter? I'm just not sure anymore when it comes to my family.
Even though things with my family aren't great my friendships are going amazing . I love it but it scares me a lot. It's like I blinked and life changed...is it a good thing or a bad thing when friendship change so fast? Will they actually last? Can they last in a long distance friendship? My history says no but can my future be different? Guess I'm feeling confused right now about life and relationships in general.
I'm ready to start a new life away from my family but not away from my friends. It's going to be really hard walking away from that.
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