Hurt

So I am feeling a little stupid today but I am feeling a little hurt today. I am sure my emotions are just a mess these days and probably a little more sensitive, but I can't help that things are hurting me and bothering me.

Yesterday right before I left work 4:59 to be exact that a meeting had been canceled which in reality I knew it wasn't and when it was only sent to me it makes it obvious that I am really being uninvited. So I was annoyed and frustrated with it but thought that maybe my emotions were just getting the best of me and just went on home. I came to work this morning thing that maybe it wouldn't bother me as much as it did yesterday, but I was wrong. So I asked "Is this basically me being uninvited?" and the response was "Yep, nothing personal. Blank wants development officers to attend and didn't think it was a good use of your time or resources." which just made things worse for me. It's great knowing that one of my coworkers believes in someways I am not good enough for resources...just the choice of wording was weird to me on it as well as the way it was handled. I think I am more upset by the way it was handled than not being able to go to the meeting. Maybe I don't deserve to go or that its a waste of resources, but I should have gotten a better explanation I guess.

So after feeling annoyed by that encounter another one happened just the same way of just putting on my calendar a meeting was canceled. Which just made me more mad...its about respect I think and just feeling like I have none here, okay maybe not none but I just don't understand why some people believe or at least act like I don't deserve any. I am a person and a person that has put everything into this place but I guess it doesn't matter. I was asked why I still volunteered with one of the places here after everything that has happened...without single hesitation when asked that my response was because I am passionate about the cause and believe in it in every single way. Guess that doesn't really matter in the real world huh?