Everyone has good days and bad days...today was a bad day, but yesterday was a good day. This seems to be the theme in my life lately. Even though I was crazy tired yesterday it still seemed to be a good day. Perhaps it was because I had a nice little breakfast with a friend...it was good and it seemed like it was as if we were old friends just chatting and having fun. I've always kind of hoped that when I get old I will have a friend that will meet me for breakfast and just chat about the days that we haven't seen each other and that was how it kind of was. It was nice and it made me feel better about things. It was worth not sleeping in. :) And it just kicked off a great day. I didn't really have something great happen but it was just a relaxing day and a pretty easy day at work, not too much drama going on or anything. I just laid around the apartment and got to chat with some friends.
Today unfortunately was a hard day. I went to this meeting today and it was just annoying to me. I am sure I am being overly sensitive lately but I just can't seem to get over how I am feeling lately about things. I know that life isn't that bad right now, but not knowing what will happen is killing me. It seemed like our office was all having some bad days so it was good for me too because we went out to eat and were able to vent out some. It was nice to sit around and let out some of the feelings that I was feeling. Now I am just back and hanging out with lots on my mind but having a hard time really getting it out.
I think I am scared with what the future holds, but is that stupid? I am also starting to get scared for myself and all my mixed feelings and how emotional I have been lately. I am trying to get my feelings sorted out but its getting harder and harder each day. There was this meeting today that I think the idea of the meeting will be great, but it doesn't sound like I am in the future plans at all, which kind of stinks to me and causing some of the emotions I am having right now. Why should I continue to go to work when there is not future for me? Was it a waste of my time to spend six years where I am now and not getting anywhere? Did I not work hard enough? What if this is all I will ever be? Whats going to happen to me? Today I felt like crying in this meeting. It is really the first time that I really feel like I don't belong and there is no reason for me to be there. Its hurting me too...I dunno really how I feel right now.
Even though I didn't really talk to my friend today like I wanted to I am very happy to have talked to them and help get my mind off of things. Always good at helping me clear my mind.
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