brought to you by Real Simple...5 ways to be a better friend. Do you want to be like Bert and Ernie? Laverne and Shirley? Thelma and Louise? Supposedly these duos knew what it took to create a lasting bond. And here is the expert suggestions for creating your own enduring relationship and my comments about it.
1. Stop giving advice. If you always tell your friend how to fix their problems, the relationship will be unbalanced. You become the One Who Knows All, and they become the One Who Is Troubled. Eventually you;re both going to tire of those roles. Instead let them bounce ideas off of you. Ask, "What are you planning to do about this tricky situation?" Or just give a supportive comment: "That sounds difficult. How do you feel about it?" Offer your opinion only if they ask for it. Otherwise you're not having dialogue; you're giving a lecture.
So I agree to this in some ways. This is something I think I have always struggle with not knowing what to do in a situation like this, because in reality every relationship is different, but this is a pretty good rule I think. I spent a really long time getting frustrated that I would talk to others about things and they wouldn't really give me an answer, but I am starting to realize those are the relationships that are stronger now. They are the ones that have helped me grow and helped me have the strength to figure out things and helped me be able to talk things out. So always try to have a balance relationship and never act like your better than someone by telling them how to do things or never overwhelm a person with your problems expecting them to solve them for you. That doesn't work either.
2. Show a different side of yourself. One Great way to do that is to mix friends from different areas of your life - say, throw a get-together with your college buddies and your pals from work. You'll find yourself opening up more, and your friends will learn new things about you. Friendships benefit from a breath of fresh air.
So I agree with this to some point. I think that you should always show a different side of yourself to people and that it will really become natural if your suppose to be friends. I have learned that friendships change, which means we change as well...so naturally you should show different sides of yourself. Maybe I should be better about mixing companies but I don't do it but I do talk about each group to the other group and that does me well and I think shows a new side of myself. Its always good to keep the relationships alive by keep it fun, exciting, and new.
3. Be (genuinely) happy for your friend's success. Friends want you to celebrate with them when good things happen. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds, especially if you're a little jealous of your pal's success. Swallow that emotion, because they don't just need a shoulder to cry on in a crisis. They are also looking for someone to cheer their triumphs. Joy shared is joy doubled.
So I think this is crucial in every relationship you have. I can't imagine having people in my life that only came to be with the negatives in their life, I do have some of those as well as ones that just come to be with accomplishments, but its the ones that do both that are the best. I should be able to be a person that can share the upsets and the struggles with the people in my life, but to always be genuinely happy for the people in my life as well. Their success is like my success I think...I always want to be in their corner cheering for them even if its something completely stupid. Always be proud of the people around you no matter what, they have been or will be proud of you no matter what. Everyone deserves a cheering section.
4. Make small gestures. You don't have to go great lengths - throwing a surprise party or giving an expensive gift - to show your friends you love them. Case in point: When I had surgery in 2009, about 50 people posted short comments online wishing me well. I was touched. If you don't use social media, reach out in other ways. Leave your friend a compassionate voice message, or stop by her office with a latte if she's had a tough day. It will mean the world.
So I think this is so important. I am a firm believer that the little things are the most important things. I think its great to celebrate birthday, Christmas, etc but what about just celebrating the plan ole day? It's the simple thing of saying good morning to someone pretty much every single day, wishing someone a great day, leaving notes on their desk, a genuine smile, just calling to chat, etc. There are so many things that can be done to brighten up someones day. And there are times that your small gesture doesn't seem to help because of maybe how bad things are going, but they won't forget that you tried, I know I never do. This is a good one for sure.
5. Act like a nine-year-old (like me). Grown-ups should work harder on seeing their friends. When you're in school, it's easy. You get to spend all day, every day, with them, except on Saturday and Sundays. But once you've graduated, a company can't offer jobs to you and all your friends so that you can stay together. Adults have to make more of an effort to see each other, and sometimes they don't do that enough.
So I think this is important to makes sure you try to keep these people around and that you take some time out of the craziness of life to have some fun. I think that its also important to just be a kid, just have some fun, and enjoy life. Luckily I have some of my best friends at my work and we do see each other every day, but we also take the time outside of work to get together and actually have some fun. I think its important no matter how old you get that you have fun and be a kid.
I think out of these 5 things I try to do them all, at least I tell myself I am. I think I try to not always lecture friends, but to actually try to talk them through whatever is going on, unless I am caught on a bad day and then who knows what I say to them. I also think that I am starting to show a different side of myself that I haven't in the past which has been really good for me and I think it gives others maybe a little more understand of who I am. I think and hope that I am always genuinely happy for my friends, I mean really what kind of friendship would you be in if you weren't...okay the real question I think is what kind of person would you be? I hope that I always make small gestures not because of a magazine because I want to and that its natural for me to do it. I think its important to do little things for people you just never know. I am pretty sure I act like a nine-year-old for sure...I mean I think I am definitely a kid at heart and hope that never changes.
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