Today I feel like my heart has been broken into a million little pieces. I know I shouldn't feel that way but sometimes it's just how you feel. I graduated in May and before I even graduated there were all these "promises" for a job which close to 3 months later I'm still sitting in the same position I was already in but perhaps a little frustrated with things. Don't get me wrong I love my job and the people but I also need to do whats best for me. I try not to get down about it all but I'm definitely struggling with it right now. I feel like I've worked so hard in my current role and deserve a chance at something.
A few weeks ago I found out that a coworker had accepted a job elsewhere which I believe is a great fit for them and it left an opening in our office, one that I've been wondering about for a while now and a place I can see myself excelling in. it's definitely in a field that I'm passionate in and think I can/do bring a lot to the table. After sitting in several meetings and hearing several things floating around I decided it was time to have a chat about possibilities. Unfortunately it turned out to be not what I expected at all. It sounds like ts already been decided that I wouldn't be the right chance and probably not even get a "look" at which ultimately stinks knowing I currently work with then everyday. Can you imagine trying and being rejected by your coworkers? Think about how it feels...I know ok overwhelmed with emotions at this point. I feel like I'm not good enough at this point and it's really hard.
There is more to this but just can't at this point explain besides this quote..."Crying is how your body speaks when your mouth can't explain the pain you feel"...as I cry now and have throughout the day...words just can't explain at this time.
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